19 Questions With Lesley Eccles
by The Candidly Team
This article is part of our series called "People We Like," in which we highlight interesting women, across all walks of life.
Leaders, great cooks, doctors, parents, writers; people who inspire us.
Today, we’re highlighting Lesley Eccles, CEO of Relish, a relationship company known for its award-winning app that provides relationship-coaching services to real couples through actionable, science-backed tips and plans.
The Candidly Questionnaire
1. What’s your most compelling quality?
Loyalty.
2. What’s your worst quality, according to your friends?
I don’t suffer fools gladly.
3. What’s an overrated value you don’t buy into?
Work-life balance. Work is such a big part of your life that you can’t say that it’s not life. And the more you think that work and life are two different things, the less happy you will be.
They are more intertwined now than ever, so learning to be fully present in whatever activity you’re doing at the time is a much more important skill to focus on.
4. How do you feel about cilantro?
Can’t make guac without it. And guac and chips is definitely one of my guilty pleasures, so I’m a big fan!
5. Are essential oils anything?
The idea of a scented massage is heaven right now.
6. What's the most effective beauty trick you know?
It’s as simple as 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I also stopped wearing makeup during the pandemic. It’s been incredibly freeing and my skin feels fresher and younger.
7. How do you get your self-esteem?
By doing breathing exercises and keeping perspective.
8. What meal can you make the hell out of?
Chili con carne. It’s the one dish our whole family can agree on.
9. What’s your favorite item of clothing you own?
I’m a boots person. I must own about 20 pairs. Growing up in a cold climate meant I would wear them all year round.
10. How do you handle conflict?
I’m not a fan, and have been known to try to avoid it in the past. But I’ve learnt over the years that you need to tackle it head-on, or things will only get worse. My approach is usually one of empathy and mutuality, trying to understand where the other person is coming from and seeing it from their perspective.
11. What idea has really challenged you in the last year?
I haven’t seen my family (who all live in the UK) in 18 months. Prior to 2020, I would typically see them every couple of months. That’s a huge challenge for so many of us right now, and makes us all appreciate the relationships in our lives all the more.
12. What Insta account speaks to you deeply?
@ellevest. I love that they are really driven by the mission of getting women to sit up and take notice of their finances, and addressing the gender pay gap and making us all more confident in how we think about money.
13. What quote or phrase has stayed with you?
“There’s no point in worrying because it’s the thing you don’t worry about that will get you.” -- My mother-in-law
14. What’s your favorite movie from the last ten years?
Hands down, it’s the Greatest Showman. I even went to a sign-along version of it complete with Drag Queen comperes and dress up. So much fun!
15. What forms of therapy have changed your relationship to yourself?
I started meditating about 30 years ago. It was essentially breathing and deep relaxation techniques. Fast forward a few years, and I used the power of the mind to conquer my fears of childbirth with my second and third children after a traumatic first birth. That really showed me how powerful our mind is in controlling our emotions, our motivations and our bodies.
My experience is reflected in how we built Relish — so much of success in relationships (whether with yourself or with other people) is about mindset.
16. What’s the most delicious bite of food you’ve ever had?
I used to be a real carnivore. My first mouthful of a good filet mignon paired with a glass of red would literally move me to tears.
17. Is social media ruining our brains?
It’s been a lifeline to many people during the pandemic — a way to keep in touch with a wider circle of people and to know that we’re not alone.
However, there is no doubt it’s dangerous, and has a negative impact on our mental health if we’re unable to control our own use of it. I also speak to so many couples in damaged relationships where social media is used as a weapon against each other, or a tool for escaping the horror of trying to communicate effectively with each other. I would say that it is ruining our relationships for sure.
18. Describe your actual bedtime routine.
Every night, I read bedtime stories with my daughter, who notoriously never wants to go to sleep. We’re reading Stories for Rebel Girls right now which she loves — letting her see all these role models is so important for me.
I then spend time with my teenage sons, trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to shepherd them to bed.
I get caught up on email, then spend about 20 minutes “putting the house to bed” and getting organized for the next day. My husband and I always make a point of connecting each night, checking in and talking about what we’re doing tomorrow, and any worries we might have. I aspire to read in bed, but I’m one of those annoying people who can fall asleep in an instant.
19. What’s your relationship with bangs?
Yikes. I have spiral curls. I’ll let you do the math on that one.
What is your single favorite:
Wellness product that *actually* works: Epsom salt baths.
Lip balm: Vaseline.
Jeans brand: I get my jeans through Stitchfix — I’m short and skinny so they know my exact measurements. I have no idea what the brand name is.
Mascara: Benefit Cosmetics “They’re Real” Mascara.
Sweats: Any that are comfy and soft.
Effective “lady” product: Gillette Venus platinum razor.
Last-minute gift: Bottle of champagne.
Bra: I’d rather not wear one.
Shampoo: John Frieda or DevaCurl.
Comfortable shoes: I wear my Uggs at home all the time. I have multiple pairs depending on my mood. They’re a hug for my feet.
Splurge skincare: Mario Badescu.
Drugstore skincare: Boots No 7.
Everyday bag: Coach — big enough to hold a laptop.
Guilty-pleasure TV show: Schitt’s Creek.
Drink: Frozen strawberry margs. Or anything with gin!
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