Dr. Laura Berman Is Someone We Really Like
Photo from Dr. Laura Berman
by The Candidly Team
Dr. Laura Berman is a relationship therapist, an assistant clinical professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology and Psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine, and is trained in sexual therapy from the Department of Psychiatry at New York University Medical Center.
We like Laura.
But, we don’t think Laura sleeps because she has roughly 45 radio shows and podcasts at time of publishing. Maybe not 45, but a lot. And while we might be a hair biased, we think THIS episode of her podcast with our very own Editor-in-Chief is the best one. FINE, a lot biased.
Dr. Laura is deeply funny, utterly brilliant, unabashedly herself, and has her own line of sex products. What more could anyone want? So we asked her a few questions. More than a few. And her answers did not disappoint.
The Candidly Questionnaire
1. In a word, what is your most compelling quality?
Empathy.
2. In a word, what is your biggest challenge?
Empathy.
3. What kitchen tool do you use every single day and kind of can’t live without?
My vitamix.
4. When do you feel most connected with yourself?
Meditation. Yoga. Sex.
5. Are essential oils anything?
Sure. I wish there was more clinical research overall, but I use essential oils for things like relaxation, stress relief, and improved sleep, and I often recommend them to my clients and students.
6. Do you struggle at all with boundaries? How?
Definitely. I have a really hard time letting go of my need to help others and make time for myself. It’s something I have to be really intentional about, and sometimes I need reminders—my husband is good for that. I also tend to be pretty filterless in my communication. I say what I think, often without thinking about it first. That’s more a blessing than a curse I believe, but it can definitely get me into trouble at times.
7. How do you dampen self-critical thoughts when they get too loud?
I connect to my inner source of unconditional love, and I just sit with my critical thoughts and try to let them exist, without judgement. I get tender with myself, and I take the time to check in with the real feelings underneath those negative thoughts; the fear, shame or sadness and let them pass through me. When I do that, those self critical voices die way down.
8. Describe the most “you” outfit of all time.
Totally freaking nude. I am a hippie at heart, and I love to embrace my body whenever I can. But if I have to be dressed, it’s usually a long skirt or jeans and top made of some sort of natural fiber. I’ve been really drawn to silk recently. I love how it feels on the skin.
9. What meal can you make the hell out of?
I am a vegan and super-conscious about my diet ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. But I was also raised in a small coastal town in Georgia, so I love to make vegan versions of Southern classics, like peach pie and succotash and cornbread and collard greens.
10. What book has made the biggest impact on your life?
If I have to name just one, it would be The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
11. Apart from family, what woman do you deeply admire?
Sandra Elizabeth Flowers, or “Sasa,” who passed away this past December. She was my babysitter as a child, and she later was a nanny for my sons as well. She taught me what love and grace really mean and planted the seeds of my own self-worth. She was also the most brilliant and kind soul I have ever known.
12. Why does the word “feminist” get people so wound up?
I think that many people equate the word “feminist” with man hater. They get wound up because they see feminists as dangerous for that reason. But the truth, as Gloria Steinem has beautifully put it, is that a feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men. I am a feminist, not to mention a mom of 3 boys, and I adore and admire men as much as I do women.
13. Which Insta account’s stories do you always tap through until the end?
Anything by my girlfriends. I have a close-knit group of friends, but we live all over the country, even the globe, so their social media helps me see their beautiful faces everyday. And you know I have to follow my sons on Insta, too whether they know I am stalking them or not.
14. Do you think social media’s good qualities outweigh the bad?
Yes, because I think humanity’s good qualities outweigh our ‘bad.’ Social media is just one of our many tools, and it all depends on how we choose to use it, but I have faith in our natural goodness and I believe the universe always veers towards healing.
15. What quote or phrase has really stayed with you?
‘Normal is boring,’ said often by my parents when I was growing up and something I often tell my own kids.
16. Do you have a phobia? How do you deal?
Claustrophobia. It’s minor- I just prefer open spaces and I hate being crowded in and not having personal space. I try to avoid large crowds, like waiting for a less-crowded elevator, etc.
17. How do you feel about cilantro?
Ambivalent.
18. Describe, in detail, your perfect bedtime routine.
My favorite robe, the windows open, breeze blowing in, lavender tea, cuddling with up my husband, and then, well, he would kill me if I said more.
19. What’s your favorite thing you’ve ever read on the internet?
I was really inspired by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey’s recent work in the NYT covering the Harvey Weinstein case. As a victim of sexual trauma and having grappled with workplace harassment myself both as a sex therapy student and beyond, I felt really seen and validated by these journalists’ work and the way they gave voice to the victims.
20. What’s your relationship with bangs?
Have ‘em, love ‘em…take the leap, it’s just hair. Once you’ve been bald (like I have after chemo), cutting bangs is infinitely less scary.
What is your single favorite:
Wellness product that *actually* works: Yoni Silk
Lip balm: Laneige
Jeans brand: Good American
Mascara: Charlotte Tilbury
Robe: A silky Natori kimono
Sex product: Astrea remote control panties
Last-minute gift: Sex toys, lubricant, and books
Bra: Sweaty Betty
Shampoo: Kerastase
Comfortable shoes: Tieks
Splurge skincare: Anything by Osea
Drugstore skincare: Aveeno
Everyday bag: Chloe crossbody
Podcast: The Sheri + Nancy Show
Drink: Water
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