This Is Why Trendy Internet Phrases Make You Want To Die
by The Candidly Team
When you see a “live, laugh, love” sign, do you recoil in disdain? Does hearing someone say “all the things” make you want to vomit? Do you throw your phone across the room when a 42-year-old colleague uses “vibez” in an Instagram caption?
Big same, as the kids say.
How do these awful language trends start? Why do they make us cringe? What does any of this have to do with cults and MLM’s?
Well, we spoke to Amanda Montell, linguist and author of Cultish: The Language of Fanatacism, and she told us why.
1. We all read “rockstar” or “unicorn” or “self starter” on job descriptions, and we all roll our eyes. All of us. If we ALL hate it, why does it persist?
Cringey corporate words certainly make me wince, but I think they actually comfort and resonate with a lot of folks, or else we would have all collectively decided to abolish them already.
Words like "unicorn" and "rockstar" really serve as ritualistic linguistic symbols that might seem corny or awkward at first but ultimately work to establish solidarity, encourage conformity, establish an us/them dichotomy, and stifle independent thinking and dissent to various degrees.
We all love the feeling of learning a secret language; it makes us feel special and elite, like we’re in with the cool kids. And so, this corporate B.S. jargon persists.
2. We watch phrases evolve from 4chan, to Twitter, to Instagram, and suddenly grown women are having “all the feels” about their 5 year old going to kindergarten. Is this always how language has evolved to some degree (minus the digital part of course)? Why do some of us hear these Internet-created phrases and want to die?
We all have different degrees of sensitivity to “culty”-sounding rhetoric (it might come as no surprise that my tolerance for this kind of language is very low), which are shaped by a complex amalgam of factors including our backgrounds, families, education levels, moods, dispositions, trust levels, and more.
Language and culture have always moved and changed side by side, and language can serve as connective tissue, helping us feel a part of something greater.
In the age of the internet, slang and in-group jargon move a lot faster, but whatever words a population is using at any given time, they always reflect something about our larger values, neuroses, and fears.
3. Do MLMs intentionally use language like #momprenuer and #bossbabe to create subtle cues for their followers to feel connected to a bigger idea, which then makes it harder for them to leave? Is it that insidious and by-design, or is it more natural?
All marketing language is to some extent both strategic and organic.
We use language so naturally that we don’t often stop to consider its material power, but then again, brands clearly know on some conscious level that jargon like this works to make people feel connected to something larger than themselves, and also provides them with a stronger sense of themselves—an identity template, if you will, during a time when we almost have too many overwhelming options for who to be, where to live, what to look like, what to believe, etc.
Being able to identify as a #bossbabe alleviates some of that chooser’s paradox, offering comfort, closure, and answers.
4. There’s so many social media-driven words and terms that have emerged around mental health that were previously considered more niche, like “having boundaries” and “gaslighting.” Are people really more educated on these previously clinical ideas, or are they just reading headlines and adapting them into their speech patterns? (Especially given that over half of things shared on the Internet are shared without even being read).
This is just my personal observation, but I think the increase of this sort of bastardized therapy-speak is due to a combination of factors, including (on the positive side) efforts to make mental healthcare less stigmatized and more accessible.
But it’s also due to the rise of social media “therapists," who oftentimes co-opt these terms as a way to sound smart or establish themselves as authority figures, which can be misleading and destructive, especially during a time of incredible mistrust toward the healthcare system, when there is such confusion surrounding mental healthcare.
Assigning labels to previously unnamed experiences (like naming a behavior as “gaslighting”) can feel extremely powerful, but the overuse and misuse of these specific and in some cases diagnostic phrases can dilute the language and ultimately work to empower the wrong people.
5. Why do so many start-ups use language to create such ludicrous, over the top ideas about what the companies do? Is every single underwear brand REALLY on a “mission to fuel authentic self expression?” Does creating a culture of cultish hyperbole REALLY help workers to feel inspired?
Products and services that come with larger identity benefits (i.e. a beach towel made out of recycled plastic that suggests it will make you an eco-conscious, morally superior, athletic, and deeply hip person in general)—these are sometimes referred to as “organizational ideologies"–have indeed been been found to resonate more with millennial consumers, who are pickier and less “brand loyal” than previous generations.
Companies that promise transcendent "missions" especially click with younger consumers during this religiously ambivalent era when we’ve found ourselves turning to brands, celebrities, and influencers rather than churches and religious leaders to satisfy the sense of connection and meaning that we humans so badly crave.
6. As the churchgoing public dips below 50% for the very first time since it was measured in 1937, can we attribute so many of these cultish words and ideas as stand-ins for what human beings fundamentally need, but which organized religion now feels woefully unable to provide: a sense of purpose and belonging?
Yes. Lol. Precisely.
7. Do you think social media is ruining the beauty of individual, unique self-expression?
Social media is screwing with a lot of things (like kids’ self-esteem and cognition), but (and I say this observationally), I think individual and unique self-expression probably isn’t one of them.
I think people seem freer now to express themselves in a wide range of ways in part because social media makes so many more possibilities visible. Think, for example, of how narrow a woman’s margin for who she could be and how she could dress were 200 years ago, or even 40 years ago.
8. Are there any important cultural shifts that have used culty language to the point where the message might get lost and the result is polarizing? If so, how and why? And does social media make it worse?
Social media algorithms work to send us down rabbit holes encouraging us to believe more and more extreme versions of what we already do, so it definitely contributes to the widening of ideological schisms.
Obviously, QAnon conspiracy theories were able to iterate and contort to spread far and wide, meeting people wherever they were, expressly because of social media.
9. If we find our parents or friends or loved ones succumbing to culty phrases and ideologies like MLMs and they’re going broke, or becoming different people, do we have any recourse? Can we “snap them out of it?”
Unfortunately, people tend to do whatever they want so there’s really no magic spell that can “snap them out of it,” but by remaining as an outside influence in a loved one’s life—however it feels healthy for you—while avoiding accusing them of being “brainwashed” or “in a cult” (because those phrases only alienate people further), you can remain hopeful that they’ll eventually come back to reality on their own and one day return safely home.
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