If You’re 40ish, We’re Here To Convince You That You Definitely Need Lingerie
We know you’re cringing at the idea of squeezing your bits into something uncomfortable and “sexy,” but hear us out.
by Abigail Bassett
Some of us are lucky and start to feel more powerful as we age.
Some of us aren't, and things just kind of cool and diminish in the bedroom. Sometimes it is literally just the stage of life/work/kids/health - and 99% of the time, it's (mostly) in our heads. We're not communicating with our partner in a way that feels fulfilling, or we're distracted by the constant pull of work, kids, the economy, politics, or what the hell we’re going to make for dinner…You get it.
Listen, the benefit of this age is that at this point in our lives, most of us know what we've got (physically speaking), and we know what we like, both when it comes to clothing and when it comes to our turn-ons. But ask yourself this: When was the last time you put on something that made you feel hot? Like actually made YOU go: "Oh. Heeellllooo, ladies, and gentlemen. I have arrived."
There’s this false idea that in order to feel hot, we have to conform to some outside idea of what makes us sensual and powerful. Society tells us we have to have perkier boobs, a smaller waist, a shapely butt, no wrinkles, and be ready to go at it like rabbits the moment our partners are.
But what if feeling sexy was really about tapping into your own turn-ons? What if you put something on for yourself instead of dressing for others? What if you chose to approach it from the perspective of your own pleasure instead of someone else's? What would that even look like?
There’s a hack for getting in the mood, and it can be distilled down to just seven simple words.
Wear something that makes you feel sensual.
It doesn't have to be “sexy underwear.” It doesn't even have to be underwear. Trust me; I too grew up on a steady diet of Victoria’s Secret catalogs and Seventeen Magazine, all of which did a pretty solid job of convincing me that my athletic body wasn’t hot enough. But you know what? They were wrong.
Clothing that makes you feel sensual doesn't have to be racy either. It can be a pair of shorts, a crop top, a pair of jeans, the perfect swimsuit, or, yes, that teddy you’ve balled up and tossed to the back of your underwear drawer and which is tangled up with that one pair of nylons without a run in them (#seen). Hell, it can be deciding to wear no underwear at all. The only requirement for this trick to work is that you feel incredibly sensual, powerful, and attractive wearing (or not) wearing it, and only you have to know it.
Beautiful Basics
If you grew up in the 80s and 90s, you know the appeal of the perfect button-down paired with simple briefs or a thong and maybe even a pair of scrunchie socks. I KNOW! The Kate Moss/Nikki Taylor era of supermodels has permanently made this look a smoldering way to turn up the heat around the house. Here are a couple of our favorite sexy basics.
The Middle-of-the-Road Racy Things
Bluebella and Gooseberry make lovely lingerie that won't break the bank. Both brands offer everything from racy ouverts and sensual chemises to sheer bras and underwear and glam longline bras and high-waisted underwear, in a range of inclusive sizes. Bluebella, in particular, excels at blending various sizing with sexy options. The pricing can’t really be beat either. Here are a couple of our favorites from Bluebella and Gooseberry.
The Pricey Playthings
If you’re more of a “European lingerie and nothing else” person, expect to pay a pretty penny for these lux pieces.
Some European sizing only goes up to U.S. 14, but Cosabella is such a go-to for its incredible curvy and extended size range.
These pieces are sure to leave you a bit breathless (and not just because of the price). If knowing you've got a lux little secret under your clothing is a turn on, these are for you.
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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