5 Style Rules You Absolutely Should Not Follow Just Because You’re 40
by The Candidly Team
When it comes to getting dressed, we actually love a good rule. Buuuut, it has to be good.
And easy.
And like…a tangible solution to the fun-in-theory but frustrating-in-real-life task that is putting clothes on our bodies.
But some rules are just plain dumb. And wrong. And oddly ageist. Or sort of inherently unaccepting of all the various shapes our bodies come in.
Nevertheless, we’re realists, and we’re not here to tell you to throw caution to the wind and “wear whatever” because life is short, etc., etc. We assume that you, like us, like your clothes to look really good on you.
So when we say that these 5 style rules are ones you should ignore, we hope you trust that it’s precisely because following them limits our opportunities to look good. And feel good. And to enjoy wearing an array of things that remain fun and flattering and chic long after we turn 40.
We won’t drag this on any longer. Here are the 5 garbage rules, and some very special pieces that prove they’re well worth breaking.
Rule #1: Don't wear horizontal stripes.
Is this still even a thing? This whole rule sounds like something a lazy 1950s fashion editor made up on a Friday at 4:59PM, but then it kept being picked up and repeated for decades until we read it in one of our mom’s magazines whilst giving ourselves a paper-cut from rubbing the previous page’s sticky perfume sample all over our wrists. The point is that this rule, much like this anecdote, is quite dated and has gone on for way too long.
Horizontal stripes are just fine. More than fine when they replace a solid top and make our jeans-and-tee looks more interesting and more French. Or when they peek out from under a chambray button-down or a crisp jean jacket. They’re classic and chic and all the things we like about the “coastal grandma” craze. And just look at how flattering they can be.
Rule #2: Stop showing any skin on your arms.
Did we cheat by showing you 4 striking women in possession of 8 pretty great arms? Absolutely not. No one thinks they have great arms. But the idea that any of us should cover them up just because we decide that ours are too “thick,” too “bumpy,” too “crepey,” or too “old” is absurd for 3 reasons:
1. The existence of warm weather.
2. Seems weird to eternally confine the only part of our body that is constantly in motion (i.e. hailing cabs, whisking over-complicated sauces, lifting bags and kids and ridiculously large Target boxes containing a single set of dish towels.)
3. We don’t need sleeves to make them “look better.” Allow us to explain in visuals.
Rule #3: wear long and loose shirts to conceal your midriff
We get that crop tops come with a certain fear factor (although one of our writers did make a pretty persuasive case for why we shouldn’t give up on them altogether). But the whole idea that a looooong, shapeless sack of a shirt will be more flattering to our midsection than a more tailored, less lanky tee defies reason.
Instead of tenting ourselves from top to bottom, we prefer pairing a high-waist pant with a top that meets it right at the most nipped part of our waist. It makes a world of difference. And it doesn’t leave us with that sleepy, frumpy feeling like we’re wearing our grandma’s nightshirt to bed. Who are we kidding? We love a big, ol’ night shirt. Just not all the time.
Rule #4: bid farewell to fitted bottoms.
As much as we’d love to think of ourselves as post-insecurities, the second we label any part of our body '“too [insert adjective],” we tend to make it our goal to hide it away. The truth is it’s really hard to create proportions we’re happy with or that do justice to our own natural shape when we’re throwing layers of fabric over anything we deem “problematic."
It’s a fairly backwards idea that adding bulk would create any sort of balance. Instead, we should shift our focus to what fits us well. It sounds stupidly simplistic, but honestly, we spend way too much of our time sourcing things that beautifully hug our ample curves, and when we find them, we’re thrilled, because it means we can actually enjoy the clothes we wear. Here are 4 such pieces.
rule #5: don’t dress too “sexy.”
Don’t worry. We’re not about to tell you “how” to dress sexy. We fully recognize that you’re an adult and have your own ideas about what sexy even means where clothes are concerned. What we will say is that for us, it’s always been about 2 things:
Finding your best asset and highlighting the hell out of it.
Creating balance. In other words, if you’re going for the low-cut, cleavage thing, you don’t want the rest of your outfit to be skintight. If you’re choosing a short, fitted skirt, maybe pick something looser up top.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to select the “outside” things that make you feel like the most oomphy version of yourself. Oomphy is a sexy word, right? But much of the time we find it’s what’s underneath that helps things along in that area.
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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