If You Do These 5 Things, You Might Feel Human Again
by Katie Pace
Ok people. This is what we’ve been training for. Actually, it’s not at all what we’ve been training for. We’ve avoided this completely. It’s only been a few days and they just told our state that our children probably won’t go back to school for the rest of the school year. I mean WHAT?! What is life right now? Well I’ll tell you that after a just few days’ time in quarantine with the people I love the most, I’ve put together a list of how to survive them – or just yourself – as we’re all stuck in one location indefinitely. *Disclaimer: I reserve the right to alter or delete any of these tips as they fail me in the weeks to come.*
1. Put your clothes on.
Obviously, none of us are getting dressed every day. And showering? Psh. What’s the point of that anymore? No one even sees us, let alone smells us. It hasn’t even been a week and you’ve already let go of those beauty routines. Hair is up. Make-up is off. And those cute flats have now become ones with fur inside. But listen. You gotta put on some real clothes from time to time. Because while yes, sweatpants are a perk of “working from home,” this is different, because we are now here for an indefinite amount of time. There is no break. No ladies’ nights, date nights, or just nights that aren’t on your sofa. So, you will not be getting bedazzled to go anywhere to break up the yoga/sweat/pajama pant routine. No one is going to be complimenting your new peasant blouse.
Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take advantage of this new daily perk of extra-casual-Friday. Go full hermit. BUT. Maybe put real clothes on at some point mid-morning, at least…let’s say, half the week? Because if not, you’ll wear only pajamas day in and day out, and that starts to wear on people. It can begin to make us feel unseen (yes technically we are unseen right now, but we need to work on how we FEEL), depressed and less human. Become a person. Bathe (or at least wash your face). Make your hair look like you respect it. Wear a bra (I know. I actually can’t believe I just said that either.) Put on the jeans and tunic and maybe just stay barefoot instead of rockin’ the ol’ slippers. It can spill over into productivity for the other parts of your day as well. You know, more than just the success of your Instagram stories.
2. Practice familial distancing.
Perhaps the most crucial of all of the tips. As I write this article, I am sitting across from my spouse who is crunching BBQ potato chips so loudly I can actually hear the chips screaming for help from inside his mouth. Now maybe some of you have larger homes. Maybe you won’t be co-working in close quarters like we are. But if you have children, I bet they are all up on you no matter how big your house is. Because mine seem to think that distance is about how far you can actually drive your parents towards a mental break. But we all are here, for better or for worse, together. And in order to emerge from this intact as a unit, we gotta practice safe and sane separation.
So, figure out how to re-arrange the house to allow for space. From each other. From constant leg shaking under shared workspaces. From deafening food chewing. From all of the breathing. Figure out how kids can safely play outside. How you can work outside. How you can all find your individual room and groove. We’ve always fantasized about getting stuck on a deserted island with someone we love, but this island is a teeny weenie little island that doesn’t have another side to escape to, no secret caves to hide in and no ocean to drown out all the coffee slurping, snack requests or excessive screen-time chatter. Also. You have very little access to coconuts. Womp womp. So maybe order a hammock. A stand-alone one if you have no palm trees to speak of. Make a bedroom oasis that you take turns using as a getaway. Create a backyard/closet/bathroom office for a few minutes of professionalism. Give yourself some isolation-separation so that you don’t go postal and end up in solitary confinement instead.
3. Ration the food.
This doesn’t mean what you think it means. Yes, we’ve all gone crazy at the stores with canned beans and soups that we never usually buy. But according to this morning’s market run, we’ve also bought out all of the chips, cookies, peanut butter cups, hummus, spreads, pickles, crackers, breads, pies, bubble waters, and every other sugared or salted snack you could ever shove into your face. We are all afraid that we’re going to get stuck at home with nothing to eat and starve. Now, I don’t know about you, but my family is going through a week’s worth of food in two days so I’m pretty sure we’re leaning away from starvation and more towards a collective three-digit LB increase at this rate. And I bet we’re not the only ones that are stressed, bored or procrastin-eating.
With me? Make a meal plan with what you have. Figure out what you/your family is eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day for a week. Put it on the fridge to remember. Ration out the fresh food first so that it doesn’t go bad, but have enough of it to last you through the week. Make meals ahead if you can and freeze them. And then keep the extra snacks in a closet so that you don’t touch them until after an appropriate length of time. Note: THIS ISN’T A DIET. This is just helping you all to be rational human snackers and not eat your feelings of dread, confusion, and familial claustrophobia.
4. MOVE.
We are all in a house. And unless you’re in one of those apartments with all the amenities or a fancy house from a Peloton ad, there is no gym. There are no Pilates reformers or yoga studios or ballet barres or boxing rings or whatever you’ve been doing to stay in shape. Since we’re not able to just get out into the world and move our bodies the way we’re used to moving them, we’re going to have to try to counteract that with exercise that we do from the forced comfort of our own abode.
Go on a walk every single day if the weather allows. Make it a long one (and keep a healthy distance from the other walkers). Sunshine is bonus points. If you have to go to the market, walk if you can. Maybe take up outdoor running? Sprints perhaps? And if you hate running like I do because it seems like something the devil will make you do in Hell, then start the “ass tasks,” as I call them. As you do daily duties around the house, add a little body burn to it. For instance, when you’re waiting for that frozen food you’re tearing through to heat up in the microwave, do squats for the entire two minutes. Or do a minute of jumps from the ground to the air every time you switch the laundry. Think of it like a really terrible drinking game. Instead of drinking, do a push-up every time your kid says the word “snack.” And make them do one too just for shits and giggles. I mean we’re PE coaches now too, so it’s allowed. The more you move, the more endorphins you’ll have, and we need those to boost our brains and our moods right now because social distancing really translates to social isolation which also translates to depression.
5. Get off your damn phone.
Right now, shit is just crazy. It’s almost beyond anything we ever could’ve imagined, except for those all those pandemic and apocalyptic movies we watched (or maybe totally avoided). And of course we want to read, watch and absorb every bit of information about it. And then we also want to share all the memes about it. Oh and then post all of our own experiences via social media. And we also want to text our friends because “I heard that my friend’s aunt’s husband’s son got Corona, probably from someone on the subway and he couldn’t get a test! For like a week, and my friend was with him like two weeks ago and is freaking and I was with her and omg should I be worried?? And my kids?? They have colds. Are they infected??” And then we have to google symptoms and read who else has it since the last time we checked ten minutes ago and then share more memes because they are our oxygen right now but JUST STOP. It’s too much. Stop. Right now. PUT. DOWN. THE. PHONE.
Yes, it’s all bananas. Yes, we need to read things and commiserate, but we also need to breathe. Away from this. Because we are overloading our brains. We’re giving ourselves anxiety. And we’re not taking advantage of the few gifts we’re getting from this. Connection with our children and partners. Time for rest and play and creative outlets. And the disconnection from the world. So, disconnect. Not all day. Just for enough time to do something that will make you feel great, at a time when we’re not all feeling great. Because the phone will rarely make you feel better.
And when all is said and done, whether it’s weeks or months or (gasp) more, our lives will be different. But mayyyybe, our relationships with ourselves and our people, will be better.
Katie Pace is an LA based ex-ad creative who is now a writer by day and everything-elser by night. You can find more of her articles here.
