Do You Feel Worse Even Though Things Are Better? Here’s Why.
by Marissa Pomerance
We’ve spent the last year working from our couches. Barely moving. Numbly watching each day blend into the next until our lives became shapeless shadows of their former selves.
So it’s not really a mystery as to why, after a year of constant anxiety, we’re not feeling, like, amazing right now.
But many of us are finally starting to emerge from this horrific year, shots in arms, into the daylight again, going to dinner, going to malls, going to dentists, going to to see our friends and family again. We’re hopeful. We should be happy. Right?
Except…
We’re still anxious. And uncertain. And exhausted. And a little depressed. And suddenly having random, inexplicable aches and pains and vision problems and also asthma?
So many people I’ve talked to (including my therapist) have expressed the same sentiment—the world is opening up, we’re going back to normal, but we feel almost…worse than we did at the beginning? How does that make any sense?
Well, we did some digging. And it turns out, there’s a very specific reason.
It’s called “the let-down effect.”
We’ve spent the last year in a perpetual state of fear. Danger lurked on every doorknob, under every mask, at the grocery store, at our favorite restaurants. And other than being a recipe for burnout, this constant vigilance hasn’t just been mental—it’s been physical, too.
Our bodies have been engaged in an unending stress response—we’ve been in fight or flight mode, releasing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to help us deal with these constant threats, which in the short term, can boost our immune system. It’s why we may not feel the pain of a burn or cut immediately after it happened—our fight or flight response, and the hormones it releases are protecting us from that pain so we can get ourselves to safety.
We already know chronic stress is not good, and in the long term, can lead to anxiety, depression, insomnia, headaches, digestive issues, and weight gain.
But even when we emerge from this chronic stress, its effects catch up with us, which is known as the “let-down effect.” It means that we’re more likely to experience illness after a particularly stressful period in our lives—flare-ups of chronic conditions, pain, catching colds, even suffering from panic attacks. This is why even though you may not feel the pain when you cut your finger, an hour later, after you’ve calmed down, it’s throbbing. The drop in stress hormones makes our immune systems more susceptible to sickness, and can even cause dopamine levels in the brain to drop—hence why we may be feeling as shitty mentally as we are physically.
Our bodies have done what they can to get us through this stressful time— to help us survive, and just make it through the day. But now, as our minds are fully processing the events of the last year, so are our bodies. Which is why we may feel worse now, even though we’re safer, than we did a year ago.
PTSD and Covid Anxiety
So not only are our bodies primed to feel terrible after a year of unending stress, but let’s be real—we’re also lightly traumatized.
Of course, those of us who got to work from home, or didn’t have to worry about taking care of children, or had stable jobs, or weren’t working on the frontlines have had it waaaayyyy easier than millions of others around the world who didn’t have those privileges.
But still. We’ve all lived through a mass trauma, in which our basic means of coping with stress (spending time with loved ones, going to a movie, enjoying a dinner out with our partner) weren’t available to us. And trauma has lasting effects, both mental and physical, like anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, agitation, mood changes, and inflammation.
Often, we don’t fully comprehend the extent of this trauma while we’re in it— instead, we’ll begin to feel its effects after it’s over. Many of us may be working through post-covid PTSD, in which the idea of re-integrating into society, after spending a year terrified of the consequences of doing anything “risky,” is enough to send us into an anxiety spiral.
Here’s what to do about it.
Maybe you already know all of this, and you’re like, “cool, thanks for telling me I’m anxious. So helpful.”
But it feels important to discuss, because as we emerge from this pandemic, we may put pressure on ourselves to feel “normal” and “totally fine” again. We may even judge friends or family who don’t.
And identifying and understanding the reasons why we may be feeling worse than we did at the start of the pandemic, and giving ourselves the grace to process these feelings, is an important step in moving forward post-pandemic.
The next step, is knowing what to do about it. Since we’ve already written approximately 576 articles about how to manage your mental health with the help of experts who are wayyyyy smarter than us, here are some resources with actionable tips to start feeling a little less shitty.
PTSD: To learn more about how to manage PTSD, go here.
Trauma: If you need help understanding and healing from trauma, this mental health modality is one of the newest, most cutting edge trauma-informed therapies.
Anxiety: Here’s a comprehensive guide for managing general anxiety, and this is how to manage your hypochondriasis during (and after) the pandemic.
Therapist: Here are some tips for finding a great therapist, particularly if you suffer from anxiety.
Chronic pain: Suffering from random flare-ups of chronic pain? Same! Here’s an article about a new treatment for managing pain.
Sleep: If you’re struggling with insomnia, this is the one sleep aid that has made a difference for us behind the scenes.
Staying healthy: As our immune systems take a post-stress nose dive, these 5 science-backed supplements could help give you the immune support you need.
Moving your body: Ugh, not another at-home workout. Instead, here are 4 stretches that might loosen you up after spending 400+ days on a couch.
Marissa Pomerance is the Managing Editor of The Candidly. She’s a Los Angeles native and lover of all things food, style, beauty, and wellness. You can find more of her articles here.
