12 Unsexy Things In My Closet That I Wear Constantly As A 40ish Lady
Without an ounce of regret.
by Carolyn Firestone
Let’s try something.
On a scale from 1 - 10, how strongly do you agree with the following statement?
“I do not get dressed every day with the goal of looking sexy.”
Ok, now rate how strongly you agree with this statement:
“However, that does NOT mean I want to start dressing myself exclusively in the daytime pajamas of my 90-year-old grandmother.”
If you answered 5 or above on both of these statements, then we’re on the same page.
Aren’t most of us?
Realistically, at a certain point in life, the majority of what we like to wear AND what we look our best in isn’t the stuff that’s “trendy” or “youthful” or “sexy.” It’s the classic, flattering, comfortable stuff that makes us look and feel really, really good. Especially after 40.
There are 13 things in my closet right now that I wear ALL the time. And sure, they’d probably also look great on my 90-year-old grandmother, but none of them feel old or sad. They may be “unsexy,” but they are all excellent. Here’s why.
1. The Wide-Leg Trousers
You know those things in your closet you can just pluck out and know you’re going to feel 100% comfortable and flattered and yourself in? Well, these pants have become one of those things for every single one of us who works at The Candidly. And we, of course, all come in different shapes and sizes and armed with our own peeves and insecurities about our bodies in clothes. They glide over hips, nip at the waist, make legs look two inches longer. And while they come off very tailored and expensive, they’re so spacious and drapey, we feel like we’re in pajama pants when we wear them.
We’ve been known to style them 87 different ways a year, and every year, they remain atop our collective leaderboard for best black pants.
Oh, here’s what they look like on:
Important to note, they size in petite, tall, and plus, so they always fit jusssst right. Ok, I’ll shut up about the pants.
Price: $148
2. The Great Big Grandpa Cardigan
Quince Mongolian Cashmere Oversized Boyfriend Cardigan Sweater
The minute I feel a slight chill, all I desire is to envelope myself in some undyingly soft sweater. This one is cashmere, spacious, chic, and very similar to a certain famous sweater that I just can’t justify the spend on. Not when I could get 3 of these in 3 gorgeous neutrals for less.
Price: $140
3. The Below-The-Knee Skirt
A really good midi skirt is a highly underrated staple. It’s just so easy, and it instantly makes you look “styled.” With any boring top or tee. With any flat or white sneaker. This one from Free People really achieved perfection. Again, the cleverness of having a clean band in the front and elastic in the back. The skirt is so floaty and comfortable, but the A-line also gives you the prettiest hourglass proportions. It comes in other colors, though they sell out of sizes all the time, so if you see your dream combo, you might wanna move fast
Price: $60
4. The Chunky Loafers
Quince Italian Lug-Sole Loafer
Never in my life did I see myself parading around in a white, lug-sole loafer. I was more of a black ballet flat kinda gal, but I did notice that my flats were looking a little lifeless and slight with some of my outfits and weren’t balancing as well with wider jeans or baggier layers up top. So I decided to dip a toe into a chunkier shoe, specifically this chunkier shoe. Three things immediately happened:
1. My feel fell madly in love with the cushioned, hug-like comfort and support of this loafer. The magic was instant, I’m telling you.
2. Suddenly, all my boring, neutral jeans and sweater or jeans and tee outfits looked “styled,” like I put in actual effort.
3. There was balance between the top and bottom of my outfits, so I could wear looser layers without looking like everything went in at the bottom like an upside down triangle.
Here’s a small example:
See? Not that scary?
Price: $90
5. The Stretchy, Wide-Leg Jeans
I’ll be forthcoming. I didn’t “discover” these jeans. Our Editor-in-Chief bought them (and wrote about them), and like 75% of our staff followed suit. The fit is like that unicorn we’re always chasing. They’re unbelievably soft and stretchy and basically feel like yoga pants, but they always keep their perfect, perfect shape. None of us usually spend this much on jeans, but these truly are an investment piece in that you will want to wear them12x more often than any of your other jeans. They come in many classic blue washes, but I sprung for the dark hue, because they can be dressed up or down. So more wearing them, which makes them more worth the cost.
And here I am in the jeans:
And because they’re more than I (and perhaps you?) typically spend on jeans, the brand was kind enough to give us a code to help with the cost.
Use the code CANDIDLY15 to get 15% off.
Price: $229
6. The Most Comfortable “House Clothes” In Existence
Z Supply Dawn Smocked Rib Pant
Being at home so much more than in my 20s has made house clothes about 87% of what I wear. I have tried A LOT of them. And I can say with a million percent confidence that you will be obsessed with this set. The softness is almost indescribable, and yet, it’s still somehow light enough to wear in the dead of summer. Also, none of us who own the pants (which is now all of us at The Candidly), can explain why they are so, so flattering. They make our legs look longer and leaner, and these are LOUNGE pants, so we’re very confused. I’ll be transparent, Z Supply actually sent me a free set to try with the matching bra tank. I then went out and bought multiple pairs for myself, my 5 sisters, and my best of friends with my own money, because it’s a no-brainer how loved they will be.
Price: $59 for the pants, $69 for the matching top, $34 for the matching bra
7. The Hide Thy Upper Body Dress
Tuckernuck Callahan Shirt Dress
This one is a real hack, ok? You can wear something spacious that basically feels like an enormous t-shirt, and as long as it’s a little shorter, you won’t look like you’ve aged yourself 27 years. This dress is the perfect way to feel sort of alluring while still feeling subtle and covered up. Also, it’s the easiest thing to throw on in the summer with slip on sandals to seem like you put in actual effort to put together a “look.”
Price: $128
8. The Silky Button-Down That Replaces Your Frumpy Tees
Lilysilk Women Casual Short Sleeves Loose Silk T-Shirt
The word blouse always sounded very boring and somewhat ancient to me. But a silk top has been a bit of a revelation recently. In a shape like this, it can work more like a tee, just nicer and chicer. The cut is perfectly boxy, clean-lined, and not long, which is great for apple shapes, in particular, because it has room but doesn’t look like a tent. It works with every length and style of jeans. And, this sounds dumb, because obviously it’s classic and you’ll wear it forever, but the cute shape makes it one of those pieces that sort of make you look younger (without looking like you’re trying to look younger).
Price: $149
9. The Retro Leather Sneakers
I don’t know when the world decided tennis shoes were chic and cool at the same time, but my over-40 feet are grateful. I wear these constantly, because the swipe of color makes all my neutral-toned and denim outfits look a little elevated. But they also come in ivory, and a white sneaker is sort of the new ballet flat in how you can wear it with everything, including skirts and dresses.
Price: $139
10. The 1950s Wifey Dress That’s Very Flattering And Costs $50
Quince 100% European Linen Button Front Dress
No dress shape is more waist-nipping and yet, you don’t feel an ounce of tightness anywhere. Not your arms, your belly, or your hips. Sort of the dream. It comes in other colors and patterns, but the gingham, which is my favorite, sells out constantly, so if you must have it, be swift.
Price: $50
11. The Unbelievably Comfy And Flattering $50 Jeans
Comfort Stretch High Rise Relaxed Straight Jeans
Obviously, the first thing you’re gonna notice is the price. But these jeans fit like the expensive ones we’re always adding to our Pinterest boards cause we can’t quite justify the cost. They’re long and stretchy and relaxed, yet totally supportive. They look smooth on your waist and really good on your backside (so much so my editor wasn’t sure these should be on my “unsexy” list). The point is they’re probably going to be the jeans you want to wear most days of the week, and they’re 50 frickin’ dollars.
Price: $50
12. The Onesie I Will Not Apologize For
Listen, hearing the words “adult onesie” read aloud makes me very uneasy. But this is not some weird, fuzzy thing you wear to a winter pajama party. This is more like the comfiest, most flattering, wildly spacious, casual jumpsuit. The skinny straps and low neckline are actually really narrowing and the big pockets and drop waist give you lots of coverage, but it’s still very airy, which means you can wear it through the hot months in lieu of something very un-fun, like shorts. More than once, I have entered a Candidly Zoom call with two or more of us wearing this onesie. And every time I see it, I just want to buy it again. That’s how cute it looks on everyone.
Price: $70
Carolyn is the Managing Editor of The Candidly. Her favorite thing to do is to write about her favorite things, especially when they have even the slightest chance of making someone else’s something (mood, relationship, travel plans, or toiletry kit) a little better. You can find more of her articles here.
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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