Here’s My 6 Product Body Routine So I Don’t Look Like The Cryptkeeper

 
 

by Audie Metcalf



Don’t wait until you start to see your knees begin to crepe, your elbows start to sag, your chest begin to disappear behind wrinkles, to start treating your body the way you treat your face. 

That’s what I did. And I regret it. 

I stupidly thought my skin was my skin and it would just sort of … stay plump and juicy and soft forever.  

WELP!

How wrong I was. 

I wish wish wish I would have started looking after my body before things began to crumble, but these 6 products have utterly transformed my skin when use them every day. That’s the rub. Actually doing it every. single. day. 

I’ve tried … hundreds of different products, promising a variety of different miraculous results. 

But these 6 (and a few bonuses) are the ones that actually, visibly, physically work. 

 

1. My daily body wash that isn’t sexy but makes my skin unbelievably soft 

What: CeraVe SA Body Wash for Rough & Bumpy Skin

Why: Not cute. Almost medicinal looking. And yet? The most exfoliating product for daily use without stripping. If you’re not exfoliating in the shower, your body lotion will never, ever make your skin feel smooth. I use THIS cheap thing in lieu of a loofah which, truly, doubles the softness. If you have KP, this combo is a miracle. 

Price: $14

 

 
 

2. My daily body serum I use as religiously as my face serum 

What: Nécessaire The Body Vitamin C

Why: This seems obvious but I didn’t even know it was a thing. We know Vitamin C is basically the most effective product we can use on our face apart from SPF, so it only makes sense that we use it on our body. This one is the only one that’s not sticky and horrible, so I actually use it each morning. It lessened some dark spots within a month of using, and I noticed a sort of glowier overall look to my skin, such that my HUSBAND made a comment. Which is like, shocking. I use it religiously now. 

And you can use the code CANDIDLY for 15% off.

Price: $55

 

 
 

3. The best body lotion on this earth period end of sentence

What: Embryolisse Lait-Crème Fluid

Why: We’ve written about this extensively, and it’s because it’s the greatest body lotion of all time. The scent is French, the hydration is unmatched, the sticky factor is nonexistent, and it soaks into the skin in mere seconds. What more does one need? Oh! And it’s cheap. So. 

Price: $36

 

 
 

4. A body…retinol. Who knew?

What: Nécessaire The Body Retinol

Why: Not unlike the Vitamin C, retinol feels both shocking and also obvious as a body care product. As we know, (because you read ALL of our many articles, yes?) retinol increases cell production and the very essence of aging skin is that we start to produce fewer cells with less cell turnover, which like, IS what wrinkles are. So, if you want more cells, use retinol. But only at night, and slather some of the above moisturizer over it. You’ll notice a difference in a week. Prom. 

Use the code CANDIDLY for 15% off.

Price: $55

 

 
 

5. A non sticky body SPF that sinks in immediately and leaves no white cast thank G

What: Supergoop! PLAY Everyday SPF 30 Lotion

Why: This, I’m afraid, is a non-negotiable. You reduce your chances of getting skin cancer by 50% by using SPF. The issue is, so many feel atrocious and sticky and we hate it and don’t use it. This one is perfect and barely feels like anything, which is the goal. I bought the big tub of this and commit to slathering it on every day. 

Price: $36

 

 
 

6. A sex gel that I had to nestle this far down otherwise the company who used to rhyme with ShmaceFook won’t let us advertise this article because even though we’re all grown women we apparently can’t talk about these things openly 

What: Nécessaire The Sex Gel

Why: Yes. It’s a body product. And it helps us stay young. And this one is the absolute best. Try it. 

Use the code CANDIDLY for 15% off.

Price: $28

 

 
 

The extra bits you probably don’t need

1. The Outset Gentle Micellar Antioxidant Cleanser: Yes, this is ScarJo’s brand. And it’s deeply, deeply good. It’s thrilling for people with sensitive skin. This is my secret to a smooth neck and chest: I cleanse with this first and then slather on the retinols. It makes SUCH a huge difference to put emollients onto squeaky clean skin. It’s the only way. 

2. OSEA Undaria Algae™ Body Oil: This leaves my skin glistening when I’m exposing some arm or collarbone and it’s NOT GREASY which seems impossible but it’s true. I also bring the travel size with me to the nail salon for them to use for any massage, and it’s glorious. 

3. Byredo Rose of No Man's Land Body Wash: This is my “going out” body wash. Is that ludicrous? Of course. But the rose aroma will flood your nostrils with the most heavenly scent of all time in the shower, and you only need 2 pumps, so it lasts forever. 

4. Byredo Rose of No Man's Land Body Lotion: Simply put, there is no more haunting a fragrance than this one. I use the lotion first and then layer the perfume atop for a lasting-all-day situation. 

5. All of THESE fragrances: Is scent body care? Probably not. But I’m including it. 

 

 
 
 
 

Audie Metcalf is the Editor-in-chief of The Candidly, and lives in LA with her family. You can find more of her articles here.

 
 

At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
We have to eat.