Contouring is hard and most people can’t do it.
Trends that have rich lives on screens don’t always translate into the lives we live, you know, in actual real life. Sitting across from a real human being. Drinking iced tea. 3 feet away. In sunlight. In those conditions, the goal is for your skin to look impossibly beautiful and glowing, not caked in brown, grotesque stripes.
But if you MUST try contouring, here’s a few products and techniques for the best possible results:
Read MoreThere are some universal truths. One of which is that our skin, post 40, just isn’t what it is when we were 25. Because life isn’t fair. But at 25, most of us were flailing around in deep existential crises and finding ourselves on dates where we were made to feel unsophisticated if we didn’t want to bone on the first night and acting like we knew exactly who we are when in fact we didn’t know the first thing about who we are and pining after some jobless super douche named Xavier. So, if getting older means having any of that get even a little bit better, I’m happy for the tradeoff being that I have to be more judicious with my concealer. Thrilled, even.
So, we all know that the skin around our eyes is the thinnest on our face. Of course we know this. We watch things and know things and can see and feel this in our own faces. This thinness means this skin gets wrinkled, shows more veins, shows more signs of general wear and tear from life, more than other areas on our face. I feel like there’s this great makeup conspiracy that if you just throw enough light colored makeup on this area, it will erase, it will cover, it will turn back time.
Read MoreA couple of things inspired this article:
I feel very confident about my bun making skills.
When I searched “easy fast messy bun” on YouTube for the purposes of sharing a video with someone who I thought could benefit from knowing the secrets of crafting a messy bun, I was aghast to find multiple bun tutorials proffering “easy fast messy bun” in the titles, but clocking in at around 60 minutes.
There is no bun on planet earth or any other unknown planets which should take 60 minutes to create, nor 60 minutes to explain.
Read MoreIf you know where the hell to put your blush, please don’t read this. It’s not for you. You will laugh and point and be smug, for you are a person who knows where the hell to put your blush. In fact, stop reading and go put some blush on. I’m sure it will look magnificent.
Ok, good. They’re gone. It’s just us now.
As someone who has both struggled with my own blush placement, AND as someone who used to make a living by putting blush on other people, I feel exceptionally qualified to write this article and to be the person to tell you exactly. where. the. fuck. to. put. your. blush.
So, let’s do this. A couple of crucial caveats first.
