9 UNSEXY Things We Swore We Wouldn't Wear At 40 That We Now Wear Every, Single Day. Oops.
And they’re sort of life changing.
Image from NBC | Saturday Night Love
by The Candidly Team
This is not an article about “embracing our age” and forgoing our will to look sexy. But it is about dressing for ourselves.
Right, what does that even mean?
For us (and maybe for you too) that means dressing in ways that make us unapologetically comfortable. Being actively flattered by our clothes instead of the other way around where we try to mold ourselves into them like squeezing Play-doh into a cupped fist.
Sometimes that’ll mean dressing sexy. And sometimes not.
The bottom line is we’re sort of done with suctioned fits and stiff fabrics and hideous trends. And in their place, we’re welcoming a list of wardrobe items we’d long mistakenly labeled as old and sad and unsexy. But turns out, we were wrong. Dead. Wrong.
The below 9 things have helped us to dress better and to feel more brilliantly ourselves. After 40.
Every one is like an easy, little solution we can pluck out and know we’re gonna look good in.
It all adds up to us feeling … kinda sexy to be honest.
1. The Muumuu
Our Favorite: Pomander Place Black Finley Flutter Sleeve Dress
Our Reasons: Ah, the tented dress. Everyone makes it out like the emblem of “giving up.” The frock that’s patterned like curtains and fits like a potato sack. But here’s a realization we’ve come to of late. An A-line dress is a dream, in particular for apple shapes but also for ladies with thicker arms and hips and thighs, and ironically, also for those who are straight as a pin. You see what we’re getting at here? They look good on everyone. WHEN done correctly.
That is to say, the cut has to be smart. Clean lines and good tailoring are key. Also, the short length is a perfect way to balance having more material and floatiness up top. It makes it so it’s sort of mod and chic even though you’ve got all that coverage and space. Tuckernuck is a brand that’s mastered these fits. We love THIS one pictured because of the flattering sleeves, size, and color selection. But there’s a very French party dress and an ideal vacation dress we’re also turning to all spring/ summer.
Price: $128
2. The Bra That Exists Solely For Comfort
Our Favorite: Truekind® Daily Comfort Wireless Shaper Bra
Our Reasons: It’s not that we thought we were gonna be in full-on lingerie every day of our adult lives, but passing the bland sameness of unadorned beige bras in that section of Nordstrom intimates always made us a little sad. But as we’ve gotten older and wiser, we’ve realized that comfort in the way of bras that feel like nothing is the only way to live.
And this particular wireless bra is the most nothing of them all. Smooth, stretchy, breathable. The plot twist, of course, is that it also gives us our best, roundest shape, so our chests look better than they do in the less comfy styles that create weird spills and bulges and lines under our clothes.
Price: $29 - $52
3. The Pleated “Slacks”
Our Favorite: Aritzia The Effortless Pant™
Our Reasons: We used to think of slacks as the pants equivalent of a schoolmarm skirt. Straight, frumpy, boring. But slacks, which are really just long pants, have turned out to be one of the most lazily chic things we can wear. And they feel 400 times better than the skinny, low-waist styles we used to squeeze ourselves into, only to tent our bulging flesh under an enormous tee or sweater.
At this point, we’ve just lived enough years to know that when you locate a pair of pants that are flattering in an unparalleled way but also feel great on, you buy those pants in 3-5 colors and call it a day.
And well, we found one. It’s a properly tailored trouser with a wide-enough leg, a drapey, elongating cut, and pleating that covers your belly. The fit is so good, we actually bought them in white and our Editor-in-Chief wrote a whole, unsponsored tribute to them. The brand making them (Aritzia) clearly realized they were onto something because they took this intelligent fit and crafted it into 87 versions: linen, wide-leg, cropped, curve. The style AND color selection is so extensive, we honestly had trouble narrowing down to 3-5 pairs.
Price: $148
4. The Granny Skirt
Our Favorites: Maeve Poplin Printed Midi Skirt
Our Reasons: We thought below-the-knee skirts with elastic waists were a sign of tottering off into our crocheted shawl and rocking chair era, but oh how foolish we were. Nothing is more flattering than a floaty, A-line midi skirt. It’s light and comfy and easy - like lounge pants. But pair it with a fitted tee or tank, and maybe a jean jacket to amp up your cool factor, and bam, we’re cute but also classic, youthful but also our age. It’s great all year, but also a substitute for shorts when the weather gets warm, which we reeeeaallly like. A print is very grandmother-chic, and this print has been appearing in our dreams for months now. But a perfect solid version you can wear as a staple lives HERE. Get it in black and white and dressing for spring/ summer will immediately be 10x easier.
Price: $148
5. The Grandpa Cardi
Our Favorite: Quince 100% Organic Cotton Oversized Cable Cardigan
Our Reasons: We’re not even gonna pretend we didn’t always love a big, cocooning grandpa sweater. We’re not made of stone here. Quince makes a ton of oversized styles we adore for incredible prices in real cashmere and merino wool and organic cotton. We live in this particular one because yes, it reminds us of Cat from Mystic Pizza, but also because it has this almost weighted feeling like a blanket you’d pull over yourself in an armchair, while sipping a cup of tea and listening to the rain (by rain we mean murder podcast). It’s just the most comforting thing to be wearing something we can swaddle ourselves in at any moment with any ghosty chill we get throughout the day.
And one little sidenote that’s just us being honest is that adding big outer layers are the only way we usually feel comfortable wearing tight clothes anyway. So call the enormous sweater unsexy if you must, but we’re personally feeling pretty cheeky in that fitted midi dress underneath.
Price: $70
6. The 90s Mom Jeans
Our Favorite: Madewell The '90s Straight Jean
Our Reasons: When we hear “mom jeans,” we all inevitably think of the SNL sketch with the baggy bottomed jeans and pastel polo shirts on Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. But real moms of the 80s and 90s wore long, relaxed fit jeans that actually looked kind of great on curves. They were high-waisted and not so loose that you lost your shape. And these days, that exact style is actually the perfect middle of the road jean when you don't feel flattered by either wide-leg or skinny styles. This pair from Madewell is mounting our leaderboard for jeans, in general. And it comes in curvy and plus!
Price: $128
7. The Big Ol’ Nightgown
Our Favorite: Beyond Yoga Featherweight Soft Slumber Sleep Midi Dress
Our Reasons: Anytime a costume designer wants to showcase a kooky aunt or uncool mom, they show her plodding around after hours in an amorphous nightdress. And does the term nightdress not make us all think of Grandpa Jo dancing around his 4-grandparent bed in the OG Willy Wonka? It’s all just a very agèd image. And it is so stupid, because sleeping in an enormous t-shirt type thing is actual heaven. And it is NOT not sexy. Behold, our most favorite thing to sleep in in all of time. I am telling you this nightgown is the stuff of buttery, cozy people dreams. It’s light as a feather but also the most lovely feeling to ever touch your skin and the skimming cut is waaaaay more flattering that you can even imagine. Comes in pretty colors. Sizes up to 4X.
Price: $66 - $88
8. The Chunky White Sneakers
Our Favorite: New Balance 574+
Our Reasons: We’re not gonna lie and say we aren’t thrilled by the fact that white sneaks have come into fashion. A clean, graceful pair has basically replaced a ballet flat as a shoe we can wear year-round with skirts and dresses and pants and look casually chic. Incidentally THIS is our fav pair that meets that minimalist mold. But for the most comfortably cushioned everyday pair of sneaks that gives us endless support and even actual height, it’s gotta be THESE. New Balance, guys. Who knew.
Price: $100
9. The Prim And Proper Blouse
Our Favorite: Lilysilk Basic Concealed Placket women Silk Shirt
Our Reasons: For decades we’ve only been excited by two categories of top, great-fitting tees and cute going out tops. Anything in between felt boring or like office-wear. But button-downs are incredibly chic and can be worn a multitude of ways. And a silk, button-down is a bit of a revelation in particular BECAUSE it’s dressed up and flattering and matches EVERY amazing pant and skirt we own, and even with jeans, it’s like the perfect, easiest elevated way of getting dressed. We tuck THIS exact shirt into THESE exact jeans anytime we’re going out, merely changing our shoes and earrings to create an entirely new look. It’s all just so sublimely easy.
Price: $155
At The Candidly, we try a lot of stuff so you don’t have to. We only recommend things we truly love, and that we think you’ll love, too. All products are chosen independently by our creative team, and all details reflect the price and availability of products at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to, The Candidly may earn a commission.
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